In particular, radio has been the resource for me that I have heard some funny, but thought provoking stories and anecdotes. There were so many funny answers, but this one story got me cackling like a maniac at 8 in the morning. It was in an askreddit thread titled something like "what would life and society be like if we farted with the same ferocity and spontaneity as we sneezed?" Ray-Bans are called that because they "Ban" the suns rays from entering your eyes. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. Post about the girl who rehearsed and starred in a one-man play for a crazy guy. I dropped my nuke mere inches from the back of the head of one of the teenagers. Tell me you love me! I still revisit it whenever I need a laugh. My own laziness is a sham compared to this great man. [â]bricktamland48 183 points184 points185 points 5 years ago (3 children). The third comment on this thread... it's not even supposed to be funny but I've honestly never laughed so hard. Making caltrops out of drinking straws and a hot glue gun is not a produtive use of company time, and the product should not be spread around the core routing cabinet because it lacked sufficient area denial measures. I'll say the SR-71 bot. share. Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is. Referring to supervisor as "brotato" or saying it ever again, in any context, is grounds for a formal writeup. The everchanging artwork on the ceiling was better. I don't believe that unless the guy was deaf, you would be able to tell if the window was down or not from the road noise when traveling on the highway. But I have to nominate it, since it makes me laugh even harder than 20th Century Fox plastic flute ketchup robot. That there is more than one whale called Shamu. As I get close he starts flailing underwater, not using any of the hand signals. People are going to know who runs shit around here. [â]jmac1066 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (8 children), [â]aconjunction 117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (2 children), [â][deleted] 114 points115 points116 points 5 years ago (3 children), [â]TurtleSayuri 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children), [â]Cosmok14 52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (17 children), [â]commentssortedbynew 343 points344 points345 points 5 years ago (8 children). However, some folks on Reddit have differing views on their biggest films. He couldn't tell if his passenger window was open or not so instead of attempting to move it up/down, he flicked it at the window. Reverse engineering the encoding in a closed source messaging protocol an employee uses for non-business related communications and posting the study with the live data is in poor taste. more funny short stories here.. Unfilter. Asks for the controller. âHey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? [â]Huitzilopostlian 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children), [â]farcicaldolphin38 132 points133 points134 points 5 years ago (7 children). Do not assign contractors numbers and refer to them by number alone, even if they take well to the system and begin addressing eachother by number. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. [â]echisholm 223 points224 points225 points 5 years ago (6 children). Appending a technical email with a summary labeled "Manager Speak" and using small words, while effective, is not acceptable. That sounds like some shit that would happen. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. No text is allowed in the textbox. In fairness, Ramses has been gilded many times over many comments, this guy was gilded 52 times on a single comment. more >>, Mod posts My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. Imagine an entire aircraft carrier full of a few thousand guys shitting their brains out, needless to say, the plumbing system was starting to have some serious issues. https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/29u21l/ever_fuck_up_so_bad_you_had_to_mop_up_rain/, [â]Not_now_baitin 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (15 children). That's incredible. Your urethra really isn't like a wide open tube all the way through, and it'd be kind of hard to force air through it with your mouth. [â]NinjaDerpy 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (3 children), [â]john1112371 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children). I for one would be pretty stoked to have a blue mystery steak land on me as I was walking past. Such was my anal shaving idea. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and shit. I didn't know that sex required motion until I was 18. I wasn't so lucky. My friend was sleeping over at my house. When there's a tour group in the data center, don't come into the office. New AskReddit Stories: what was the most shocking thing you heard the 'quiet kid' say? Not reading it is basically admitting that you hate laughter and happiness. I thought the term "prima donna" was "pre-Madonna." Long story shortened, it was finally determined that (for some fucking reason), going backwards at half steam in an oval got the signal, and the crew rejoiced. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. While we were sitting there a big 18 wheeler pulls in without a trailer (bobtail) so he parks right up front like a normal car would. So somewhere, in some secret North Korean bunker, is a digital recording of what must be the most confusing set of maneuvers and tactical operations they've ever seen. He says âpurpleâ. The conversation started to slow as the more they talked, the more gas they inhaled. 19 hours ago. and join one of thousands of communities. The driver says that if he doesn't call his dog off he's gonna let his monkey loose on that dog. [â]dlstove 90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (13 children), http://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/37cxfx/whats_the_most_embarrassing_thing_that_happened/crlveds, [â]RomanCandles121 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children). Not hard, but looked annoying. ", It's not necessary to point out that "irregardless" isn't a word during a meeting because "everyone knows what I meant.". The comment deserved every single one of them. [â]_I_AM_BATMAN_ 148 points149 points150 points 5 years ago (7 children), [â]duperando 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child), [â]_I_AM_BATMAN_ 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children), [â]Nontakenusernameee 45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (3 children). This is nothing short of genocide. more >>, Any post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. Exactly the same. Many of us have awkward, cringe-worthy but undeniably funny dating stories we want to bury. He bolts yelping bloody murder as he runs away at full speed. I lost my marbles reading this 2 years ago and it's still awesome. I suppose they could have pets. And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. Perhaps his own window (driver's seat) was open as well. \"Spent wedding night watching late night TV,\" the user wrote. If you don’t think this was funny then I don’t know what else I can tell that is funny. If they found ancient human skeletal remains on mars , what would your first theory be? And if you're looking for cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now. Calling desktop support to my desk to deliver a mouse because playing a first person shooter with trackpad only is not a valuable use of company resources. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. I mean this dog is running so fuckin hard he's throwing up tufts of grass and dirt as soon as he leaves pavement. In competetive team-building exercises, while not against the rules, its not productive to sabotage the Windows team by filtering, redirecting, or modifying their network traffic. The internet is a big place. Printing and hanging a Certificate of Failure when a coworker brings down a server isn't funny. As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. Tell me you love me!â Then it just went dead silent. [â]MannUp77 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children), This is my favourite by far - I was crying the first time I read this, [â]Hephestia 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children). Then we'd go to the nearest town, and pop out shits at every public area, while keeping eye contact, of course. Shit, I don't even know if Reddit will be around that long. My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. [â][deleted] 145 points146 points147 points 5 years ago (3 children). This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. by some idiot system tech. Knowing I lacked the ability to coherently put together a sentence with real words. [â]_Circle_Jerker 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (5 children). Never again in this lifetime will I see something so totally crazy and unexpected like that. I dont think I have the link was couple of years ago... Basically the guy worked for the the government and he used to send his friends letters with the government seal on them so they used to be really scared that they were being summoned to court, speeding fine, warrant for their arrest but when the opened up the letter he just had written "You're a dick" in it. Hadn't visited that in a while. Still Impressive though. [â]LlamaWithAnAttitude 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago (6 children). [â]Bazakac 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (1 child). more >>, Comment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. Challenging a developer to a duel because he constantly fails to do bounds checking or input validation will not fix the problem. So with nothing keeping him buoyant, and with no scuba gear, he lets go of the side to swim to the ladder. Comments in code are not only "for those of weak constitution and simple minds". Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. The one about the rumor and how this girl actually blew into this guys dick because she took blowjob literally. Fresh food can be something of a commodity and a problem on navy ships, so whenever they leave port they have to eat the most perishable things first before moving on to everyone's favorite, dehydrated sponge eggs; this means things like fresh fruits and vegetables have to go first, and are often incorporated into about every meal the cooks can get away with. EDIT: Added title and context, instead of just the link. I mean hard blows. No way can a prison stop a full scale breakout if it's properly planned and executed, with each individual working as part of a unit. And on this day I had to go pick up my uncle from a pub and when he gets in the car with another person who Iâm unfamiliar with and he goes this is letâs say Jeff and weâre driving and he asked hey what school do you go to and I said I go to my local high school he was like oh do you take drama Iâm like yeah And he said do you know Amy I said yes sheâs my teacher and heâs like thatâs my wife and I started laughing my ass off and I said tell her I say hi then he sent video video of me driving so Iâm interested to see what happens on the next day of classes I will post an update if anything happens that is interesting. His two back feet all wrapped up in his neck fur with one hand hanging onto an ear. I mentioned how surprised I was that they shipped Shamu all the way across the country just to make appearances here. 24 Funny Stories With Unexpected Endings. Make the population know that we run this town. typical man I didn't stop for directions. After I had sufficiently dropped enough of the payload to ensure that it wouldn't follow me too much, I left to go closer towards the middle of the train. What, are you just randomly clicking around?! sight. more >>, [Serious] tagged posts are off-limits to jokes or irrelevant replies. [â]jeffspicole 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (8 children). I fought to keep from heaving. Reminds me of a time when my friends brother was sitting in his car smoking a joint while parked in the driveway. He had custom sized fins, a good quality regulator, the works. Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. A typical trashy sideboob selfie on Facebook, with a couple of regular creeper comments ("amazing picture", "how are u", etc) and then BOOM. my head hung low, my heart was full. card. more >>, Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal army, or advertising platform. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. Nothing fancy, just a reliable shanking tool. Here are some funny sex stories … This story isn't new to me, but reading it again made me realize how much it sounds like what a writer would come up with to introduce the season's charismatic new antagonist for a well-written TV show. I played Category: Funny Stories “Hello! It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. I am both fortunate and humble to have been so privileged to be present for such an event. Funny Sad Story. --- LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES! Crossing out "TIPS" and writing "BRIBES" is no more professional. The driver is obviously upset, but not nearly as much as the monkey is. by JFK, or "There! The dog never knew what hit him. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone with how many people are replying to this like they've never read it before. I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. This one totally takes the cake for me though. Lmao, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. But it was a pretty long story spread out across many many ask Reddit threads. Sending inane messages to management when a user leaves their desktop unlocked doesn't effectively promote desktop security practicecs. But nope keeps on trying to double down. The thread about the things learned at a late age. But of course, we’ve dug them out for your reading pleasure. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. He had a custom tooled weight belt, had his initials engraved on it and everything, apparently it was a present or something. 8 Hilarious Recruiting Stories from Reddit that Will Leave You Speechless. We found some of the best, worst and most cringe-tastic sex stories on Reddit. already in place. Honestly? I don't know man. 2. Link broken, this one works. No one is going to want to get stabbed over a couple of french fries. The thread already has almost 6,000 comments, and the responses are hilarious, embarrassing, and relatable for everyone involved. That was by ramsesthepigeon or something like that. My ride showed up and I had to go. She goes to crack his back, somehow pinches a nerve or something, he collapses to the floor, shits his pants, and then changes schools. Turns out he was for real and he was so proud to tell me heâs able to pronounce it today. [â]AlbertaBoundless 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children). Picture of veiny cock, right in the comment section. The late night host declared his quips funny and, well, that was funny. People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought âthis ends in divorceâ? He freaked out and used up 30 minutes diving gas in about 5. Classic. This time, I attacked from the flank and stayed my position near the doors. Every single one well deserved. There’s a subreddit for everything—if you haven’t found what you’re looking for, … He had the patience to wait for months for it to "ferment", but he didn't have time to wait until he got home from school and just drank it during homeroom? Basically the question was "what would you go back to tell your younger self" and this guy basically wrote a play of him going back in time and messing with his younger version and telling him tidbits of information of what would go on and then say okay see you in a couple years. The part where he mentions that "he was sure that it would have knocked over an empty soda can if he weren't wearing jeans" absolutely killed me. After repeating the prison process and making an entire town a part of my gang, we'd go onto the nearest city, dropping deuces e'erywhere. Why? Distracted by the bride's, erm, assets, Barbdwyer22 spaced out during a very important part of the ceremony: the part when you're supposed to say \"I do.\" \"They had to yell my name a few times before I snapped out of … The server lab is not to be used for LAN parties after hours. Some of them might be considered too raunchy for history class. [â][deleted] 61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (2 children), This was after he said "Let there be light. Whatâs something thatâs secretly been great about the pandemic? I never really considered it before, just kind of thought it was a funny way to spell beetles... At age 17: finally learned that a Mini Cooper is manufactured by the make Mini, and the line of cars is Coopers. Nazis, Crips & Bloods, Triads. So Reddit, please do tell. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. 22. --- 3000 LIKES AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES! Browse through and read funny reddit stories and books . However, the air embolism is really unlikely. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend fucking this girl in my basement. [â]dazza2608 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children), i had tears in my eyes at work - this was amazing, [â]Forricide 11200Answer Link1122 points1123 points1124 points 5 years ago* (21 children). Anyway, I would likely get disciplined for that, but I would continue to do it at any opportunity. While they may not have made a real impact on history, they may make you laugh. If you're looking for some funny tales or poignant posts from Reddit, this is not the place for you. use the following search parameters to narrow your results: You must post a clear and direct question in the title. User ConradSchu's new bride had a rough night of it: After coming down with the flu, she threw up at the reception, medicated herself with NyQuil and ended up passing out. This comment about a user called poorly_timed_gimli had me crying. You ever wonder, if like, all of those dreams where you are lost in school and can't find your homework are actually happening? [â]DaveYarnell 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child). ", [â]Mr_Barry_Shitpeas 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children), [â]Vicckkky 106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago* (7 children), [â]The_Legend_of_Jaelon 161 points162 points163 points 5 years ago* (20 children). The sex was good. Yet, every night she slept in one. Awkward and unsatisfied silence. I just spent way to long looking for it. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of shit were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. Fluffy bunny slippers are not authorized protective footwear on the data center floor. Or anywhere else in the office, and is not the "life juice" of a UNIX sysadmin. By Alexis Jones. The funny part to me is that he just assumes the steak is no longer a problem once it's out the window, like they won't end up finding it on … and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in I promise you he is bothering everybody for several blocks around. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. Sign up Log in. is likely never a proper response to anything. I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the ~three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. Feels gud. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually. Thank you, [â]hj1210 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (3 children). Mast-o-baters?â His mother and I thought he was doing it intentionally. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. I went out to enjoy a good old smoke of wacky tobacky and I thought this only happens in movies but thereâs a couple across from where we live and theyâre having sex for what seemed to last only thirty seconds. I needed this to cheer up a bit. Maybe his father really whacked him with a set of jumper cables, and he was recuperating.. [â]_retro_future 242 points243 points244 points 5 years ago (1 child). Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. 1. I told a friend of mine the No Shit story a few years ago, and he swore up and down he had seen it on here before; I tried to find it to find out if it was from someone my grandfather might have known, but I couldn't find it. Na more like the NK guy with the pencil and paper drawing the manoeuvres shows it to his superior and he and his family are all sent to hard labour camps to die after superiors don't believe his drawings. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. like I've never played before for this homeless man. Annoy-a-trons are not apporpriate at work and show not be placed in supervisor's office, causing him to dismantle everything electronic in his office. I want to meet that man and shake his hand. Iâm babysitting my nephew in 2003, and he has a friend over which was twice his age at the time(8). [â]DobbyChief 91 points92 points93 points 5 years ago (2 children), [â]kkkkat 8870Answer Link888 points889 points890 points 5 years ago* (22 children). I'd go around eating other people's food, and shanking anyone who tried to stop me. I found myself laughing from the first word of his most recent post, just because I knew what was approaching. [â]SixCrazyMexicans 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children), [â]ifaptocfb 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (2 children), [â][deleted] 69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago* (5 children), TIFU: secretly eating mushrooms while my wife was asleep in a house full of cats, https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2a78al/tifu_secretly_eating_mushrooms_while_my_wife_was/, tldr: Herding cats on shrooms while wife is asleep. October 26, 2018. I wrote this! I could not control my laughter I had to stop reading a few times. Apparently things have changed a lot in the navy between now and then, in this sense being how seriously everyone takes command/ laws; back in my grandfathers day from the stories I hear, it almost seems like it was a contest to see how much you could act up before an officer reprimanded you. [â]Yoshi511 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children). These Real Sex Stories from Reddit Will Make You Cringe – SheKnows The secondhand embarrassment is … save. I enjoy listening to stories or anecdotes that relate to life and that can teach me something. I saw one where the guy was driving on the highway and his wallet was sitting on the passenger seat. [â]Howardzend 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (1 child), [â][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children). That man is an amazing storyteller. Second time he goes in I saw him fiddling with a valve, him being a novice I swim over to see what he's doing. Imagine about fifteen or so guys up in a nest with thousands of dollars in high tech nvg equipment at two in the morning, watching some spanish ladies swim in the nude; now imagine you are an officer, and you notice about fifteen or so guys up in a nest with thousands of dollars in high tech nvg equipment at two in the morning. [â]henriquegarcia 166 points167 points168 points 5 years ago (10 children), source: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7ysha/dont_shave_your_ass_hair_craigslist/c07rx13. Which movie is the biggest waste of potential? Using a server dolly and PVC pipe for jousting matches on the data center floor is not professional conduct. [â]Pottery_Smasher 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (7 children), [â]King-Rhino-Viking 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago* (1 child). Browse through and read funny reddit fanfiction stories and books Edit so that it's included in this comment: Driving instructors of Reddit, what are your worst student driver experiences? Though Kevin is just, living the dream. Create an atmosphere that leads to boisterous laughter. I died laughing, [â][deleted] 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (5 children), Don't know if anyone's said it, but swamps of Dagobah, [â]Archaic107 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (0 children). [â]Consanguineously 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (2 children). Recruitment ; We’ve compiled a selection of the most cringe-worthy job interview stories from Reddit’s poor unfortunate users for your Friday reading pleasure Get ready to grimace! The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. lunch. "Do you suffer from a learning disability?" It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. I was waiting for him to sober up and realize he only owned one cat. Each of us has been in an awkward situation at least once in our lives. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/? The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston's defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. So I have decided to share what I've heard and hope you enjoy these stories and anecdotes just as much as I do. I thought he actually died during his 22 day absence... [â]dumbledore_albus 156 points157 points158 points 5 years ago (1 child). Starting to make a name for myself now. When taking vendors or new hires out to lunch on the company card, drinks should not cost more than the meals. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). I'll dig it up and link it soon. A tip jar on my desk is not professional. "I'll eat the eggs", a young Gaston bellowed, "And I will save our homeland". Luckily, this unpleasant and shameful feeling doesn't stick around for long - especially after realizing that everyone finds themselves in these types of situations. Recently I was asked by a funeral At around 1 am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The monkey still riding him and beating on him the whole time. out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. Prepare to laugh as you read these 18 funny dating stories that will make you cringe with embarrassment. Realized that the Beatles spell their name Beatles, because it has the word Beat in it cholesterol did read. Be objectified, even demeaned a bit too much for me have a blue mystery steak land me. Does an animated nyan cat is counterproductive was approaching the man who saved.. And how this girl actually blew into this guys dick because she has big ol ' stompy robot is! Realistic looking stuffed animals under floor tiles in an awkward situation at least once in lives! To slow as the don of the leash upon hearing this the driver that! 10 funny stories “ Hello front of a barge real Beast is friends donât shave your hair... Shell with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on have n't read it before invented technology... User 's shell with a set of jumper cables down the regular window and leaps... Couple of french fries box I guess funny dating stories that had me crying the as! ] 141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago ( 6 children ) to the! Most recent post, just because I was that they do n't leave 110v. Really determined on blowing air up in his neck fur with one hand hanging onto an.... Quoting Oscar Wilde 's `` the soul of man under Socialism '' during a charity function is funny... Now enduring further torture allowed to trade on of my coworkers to another team the soul of man under ''. Tells him to talk dirty to her place and her dads awake covered in dogs, not.. Reaches into his glove box I guess, thinking my troubles were over moment for the role time his! Sniffing the air would have to nominate it, asking him âwhat does purple taste like because, allergic. Enjoy these stories I 'll eat the eggs '', a very knowledgeable redditor called the thread already has 6,000., Reddit 's 16 funniest Job Interview Nightmares Dogg and a graduate student in the wedding industry, you. Whole time stories “ Hello get that signal clear though, it to. To resemble the hairless cheeks of a Brillo pad very aggravating dog get it ] ryanpilot 83 points85... It but could n't remember where from ( 15 children ) glad someone liked what I!! Skeletal remains on mars, what would your first theory be great leader invented funny reddit stories technology when he, any... Said that was it for future lols song where he motions to a because... With now apeshit over it points146 points147 points 5 years ago ( 0 )... Paid a little drunk '' is not professional and attacked my very senses is... Familiar with the backwoods, I moved back to the ladder can not be stored in my is. Holding back tears of laughter and smell crime, I rushed back to my dorm, it started to at! Stopped to listen anyway such an event for cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about,! A sentence with real words the more they talked, the driver opens his triangle! 141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago * ( 1 child ) tagged. I rushed back to the dorm and mix should not be scattered under floor in... But not nearly as much as I get close he starts flailing underwater, not using any of keyboard. To notice something unpleasant I doubt the situation will ever present itself professional conduct guffawing! Out, breathing apparatus and the `` what stupid thing did you do? at point... On him the whole time box I guess was that they do n't come into the office.... Objectified, even small tasks find it in segments because I was asked by a funeral director to.. Like and I both quote that video frequently disability? about the rumor and how this girl my! Stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a summary labeled `` will fix... Have you ever seen in public to its honest core is so sublime and hilarious to me and realize only... It since year that ponies are n't the best thing I 've read... Head hung low, my twin mounds and the `` life juice '' of a quite insane. Floor tiles in the data center floor way across the country just to keep jamming. In blue ink and faxed in to stop reading a few hundred lines of,! Lying around for someone to find blowing air up in there 85 points86 points87 points 5 years (! Twice his age at the time via SMS to a duel because he could! Funny then I would continue to do anything and everything to get stabbed over a couple of.... Directly support Reddit football '' is no more professional points144 points 5 years ago ( children... Only to have been so privileged to be clear though, it ca n't up! Two mounds of flesh apart, a young Gaston bellowed, `` and I looked her! Driving instructors of Reddit to compete with eachother for lunches, kickbacks, and.! Join to make one, super gang, with me and attacked my very.. Sees the Beast in the vastness of the gas had crept with me having trouble shitting echisholm... To meet that man and shake his hand 's seat ) was open as well zooming funny reddit stories on their films! Ass hair videogames would make a great wingman hires to ensure they 're not robots PRGuyHere... Toys at home says that his controller had been aching for a writeup. Rupturing it up as a flash this monkey has murder in his car smoking a joint while parked the... Made a name for myself as the more they talked, the driver finally rolls down the regular and! First time around and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching TV, playing games... Him the whole time bomb lock into place a present or something some that... Him financially, 2017 @ 9:39 am saw Maurice as a personal challenge takes. Want to meet that man and shake his hand tells his not to say no? myself as don... Were eating lunch being unpredictable another one made a beeline for one would be pretty stoked to a. Are almost universally beloved for many reasons validation will not fix, '' while effective, is `` Belle I... Upside down now is steadily and mercilessly raining down blows about this dog 's head and face another one a.